Following steps by the government to seize back Britain for the British, plans have now been proposed to bring back lynxes and wolves in hopes they will stop the spread of Anglo-Saxons. Many senior politicians have pointed out that the animals were wiped out some time in the last two-thousand years and it just so … Continue reading
Author Archives: nastassiadhanraj
11 Reasons We Need To Preserve The Mud Puddle Called Britain
After this week’s announcement that Jeremy Corbyn’s Labour is not particularly fussed about freedom of movement, we at Islington Echo have compiled a list of all the reasons why this particular mud puddle called Britain is so special and people from other mud puddles, like the ones called France and Italy and Portugal, shouldn’t be … Continue reading
Friend Who’s Always Late Now Too Poor To Buy Round
Everyone’s one friend who lives in Brighton and is always late to everything because of Southern Rail is now also too poor to buy an apology round at the pub, because of Southern Rail price hikes. Brian, the last of his friends who has resisted the move to London, has been consistently late for meeting his London … Continue reading
Owen Smith Seeks Advice From GoCompare Man
It is understood by The Islington Echo that failed Labour Leadership candidate, Owen Smith, is seeking advice from fellow Welshman, The GoCompare Man, on a number of issues, including how to return when nobody wants you. In leaked transcripts, The GoCompare Man suggests that Owen Smith forget trying to insist that people call him … Continue reading
Is It Cheating If I’m Receiving Emails From Owen Smith?
We’ve got another one of our reader’s moral quandries this week. Comment below if you’ve got a suggestion for “corbynlove230“. “So. I’ve been involved with this guy, Jeremy Corbyn, for a few years now. When I moved to the area, I kept things casual. It started off with a few emails here and there from … Continue reading
News Update
Islington Echo brings you a summary of news from around the world: The EU: Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck Rampant Racism: Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck The Economy: Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck Scotland: Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck NHS: Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck The Labour Party: Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck The Tory Party: Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck Jeremy Hunt: Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck Stephen Crabb: Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck Football: Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck Brazil Olympics 2016: Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck USA Presidential Election: Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck Global Warming: Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck Orange Is The … Continue reading
Philip Green Opens UK’s Worst Pound Shop
Sir Philip Green has finally unveiled his next business venture; a discount store to rival Poundland. Rumoured to be the shittest pound shop in the UK, it will sell once thriving business ventures, pension debt and Philip Green’s self-decency. We spoke to one of the shop’s first customers, Lyla Janning of Caledonian Road and a former … Continue reading