Man Chill About Data Privacy Because He Reckons Google’s Got His Back

Lucas Hounds, of Mildmay Park Road, has told reporters today that he’s really not bothered about the collection, monitoring and selling of his digital data because he trusts Google will be cool about the whole thing.

In response to his friends discussing how they disagree with the ability for Google, Facebook and other internet giants to share personal data and browsing habits, Mr Hounds just shrugged and said “Meh, I just kinda feel like Google probably know what’s best. Have you seen that dinosaur that comes up on Chrome when a page is unavailable? Super cute.” When asked about his opinion on Facebook’s shady data privacy past, his reply was, “I have a hoodie just like that Zuckerberg guy, but I wear mine to the gym because at work I have to wear a suit.” He was then pushed further on this, to which he replied, “What I’m saying is, Zuckerberg seems like a sound bloke is all.”

When asked about how he thinks Google makes money, he replied “I got a new Samsung phone the other week and it was Android and that’s quite expensive so they probably make enough off that. Then when I watch cat videos on Youtube I sometimes have to watch an advert first. And occasionally I click the sponsored ads when I search for porn on Google so that’s probably all they need to get by, really.”

He continued by telling his friends that he trusts Google to respect his data, because, after all, he is a loyal customer and uses Google, or its products, for absolutely everything. He followed this with “I’m not even too worried about the inevitable robot uprising because I just feel like the sentient Androids would really respect my brand loyalty and let me carry on, really.”

Picture Credit: HuBoro

Picture Credit: HuBoro

Mr Hounds admitted he uses his Gmail account to log in to most sites and is really relieved that Google remembers all of his credit card and bank details because he can never be bothered to get his wallet out of his pocket. When asked how he feels about the security of his personal data, he replied that “Google is made up of only geniuses who are way better than hackers, probably. Also whenever I go on Google Chrome there’s that little green padlock in the corner so it’s definitely safe.”

 

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