Several Republican candidates have reacted to news that the late Pope John Paul II received steamy letters from a married woman by saying that if he had not wanted the attention, he should not have worn such a sexy cassock.
The woman and the Pope are alleged have met in Poland after she sent him a letter inviting him to discuss his book “and stuff”. Over the following thirty years, they continued to send letters back and forth which grew increasingly intimate, despite the Pope never intending to break his vow of celibacy. This has lead one Republican candidate to label him “a prick tease” and that he should know that “when you send a woman messages like that, she expects a certain something in return.” Another added, “he was the one wearing those sexy, figure hugging vestments… you can’t blame a dog for chasing a bone. You know what I mean?”
Witnesses have reported that the Pope rarely left the house without being dressed up to the nines with jewelry and expensive dresses. Numerous people have come forward saying he would “always kiss women and men on the hands” and would drink red wine at least once a week. This party lifestyle lead many to think that he liked all the attention. The Republican candidates claim it is no surprise that he caught this young woman’s eye and that really he was asking for this woman’s letters.