Close sources to Prime Minister David Cameron’s speech writer , Joel Havant, have reported that Mr Havant is desperately scrambling for ways to use David Bowie lyrics as insults for Jeremy Corbyn for the next PMQs.
“It’s really important that David Cameron is seen to be hip and one of the people, which is why we’re always looking for opportunities to seem relevant. You know like when he said “You are not in fact a Muslim, brother” and when he quoted Shakespeare last week. David Bowie’s death creates a great opportunity to make Davo seem cool,” our source says. “Furthermore,” he added, “David Cameron has the same first name as David Bowie, so we’re definitely beating Labour on that front.”
Islington Echo has seen a few draft ideas from a leaked document, including “Ashes to ashes – just like your shadow cabinet LOL”, “Rebel rebel, your party cohesion is a mess” and “We can be heroes just for one day, if you would abandon your silly attempts at pacifism in the Middle East.”