Corbyn Gives Up On Dream Of Becoming a Croupier As Critics Blast His Reshuffle

Despite having held on to hopes of becoming a high class croupier or blackjack dealer for over thirty years, Islington North MP Jeremy Corbyn has now admitted that he might just not have what it takes. His recent reshuffle has garnered nothing but criticism. Some critics have complained that he has barely shuffled at all given that almost everything has stayed exactly as it was, but somehow a few figures seem to have gone missing from the pack altogether.

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A right wing blogosphere commentator from “the internet” has said, “He just seemed to take one of the top cards and move it to a few cards lower down. Then he just seemed to take one card out from the middle of the pack and replace it with a Community Chest Monopoly card. And then a few of the cards from the original pack have just resigned and nobody is quite sure why. Then he replaced those with some of the character cards from Cluedo. What is he doing? He’ll never be good enough for the Hippodrome at this rate.”

Corbyn had apparently been rewatching the TV series House of Cards to get a better understanding of how reshuffling works, but then his one month free trial of Netflix ended and he has yet to see how Frank Underwood handles a double pack for a game of Canasta. It is generally agreed that had he reached this critical episode of House of Cards that this reshuffle blunder could have been avoided.

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