Local terrorist sympathizer, Henrietta Barteen of St Pauls Road, is considering rejoining Labour since discovering the party was filled with like-minded individuals. Ms Barteen, age 56, told The Islington Echo that she had been a terrorist sympathizer for some time, feeling that they were really just a disenfranchised group of lads and “probably need nothing more than a good hug and a cup of tea”.
She had previously dismissed Labour as representatives of her beliefs, arguing that the Iraq War was clearly an indication that they did not agree with her stance on terrorism. However, Cameron’s revelation last night that numerous members of the upper ranks of Labour were in fact terrorist sympathizers has led Ms Barteen to announce that she may now join Labour.
“I really do sympathize with these terrorist lads. I feel really sorry for them. They’ve clearly just not had very good support networks growing up and what with their homes constantly the subject to foreign bombs, it’s not that surprising they end up being blood thirsty maniacs. I feel for them. I really do,” Ms Barteen told us exclusively. She went on to say that she was glad Labour were finally “just trying to be a bit more understanding instead of just bombing everyone.”
When asked what she hoped Labour would present as an alternative to airstrikes on Syria, she said “maybe just send that Corbyn fellow round to have a word. A stern word, mind you. But you’ve got to try and remain calm in these situations, you know?”