Woman Considers Transport Options to Heathrow Airport; Cancels Holiday Altogether

June Lakely from Colebrook Row today announced on her Facebook profile that she is cancelling her holiday upon realising that every transport option to Heathrow from Islington is its own form of terror. June says she has no regrets in cancelling her once in a lifetime trip to The Galapagos Islands, where she promised her late husband she’d scatter his ashes, because it was “just too big a ballache”. Upon realizing how annoying it would be to change underground lines at Kings Cross in rush hour to get to Paddington, she began looking into Taxis and Ubers and discovered that every single one of them was a far far worse option than betraying the recently deceased love of her life. One friend commented “why don’t you just take the Piccadilly line, hun xoxo?” to which she responded “I’m not being one of the fucking Piccadily line suitcase wankers. It’s not what Ned would have wanted [sic].”

Unconfirmed reports say that June does not intend to leave her flat for the entire duration of the cancelled trip, due to needing personal time to recover from shock at the ticket price for the Heathrow Express.

Photo Credit: Adrian Pingstone


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