The Islington Echo can exclusively reveal that North Islington has been flagged by the Home Office as a haven for Left Wing Extremists. Theresa May has warned people living in the area that there is a strong and growing number of Socialists who are looking to fundamentally undermine our way of life.
We have been told that numerous previously morally upstanding, young Labour supporters have been radicalized by an enigmatic leader named in official reports as Jeremy Corbyn, but known to the elite as “Jihadi Jez”. These young people have then gone on to commit atrocious acts such as issuing left wing propaganda leaflets about Conservative cost saving measures and posting videos to social media featuring well known threat to economic security, Owen Jones.
These extremists are known to hold medieval and controversial opinions such as the belief that the railways of Britain should be renationalised; a view shared by less than 60% of the British public. Other controversial beliefs held by the extremist group include the belief that everyone deserves the right to a fair trial, regardless of how heinous the crime, and the belief that new residential buildings should have people actually living in them.
The Home Office has asked that people report anyone suspected of being a left wing extremist to the relevant authorities. Theresa May has also urged families of extremists to be vigilant also and has asked parents to report their children if they notice anything suspicious on their computer. Suspicious computer searches include “How to make a protest sign” and “Islington CLP meetings”; CLP being code for the extremist training camps Jeremy Corbyn encourages all new recruits to attend.